Naked

She's still hanging in, can't talk or comprehend much. Pulled out all her tubes & no clothes. Sitting there naked. That's mom! 

Da da Land

When I finally got the nerve to ask mom if she thought there was heaven, or where would she go, she said Da da land. What is that?  Wherever dad, Max is.  Heaven, I hope.  I said who was there, and do you know them? She said, "we have a group"! 

Mom in jr high or high school and Zoe in 7th grade. 

I'll take care of you.

Cherrie and I sat with mom all day.  She is in and out of dreams.  At one point, she thought I was my cousin Gina.  Another time, she told me she needed a turtle hook.  She got kind of upset and said, I need my wife!  Wanted Cherrie, and maybe didn't know it was me,  Her breathing is calmer now with more moraphine.  Cherrie and I sat on both sides of her and told her was ok to let go, and that we would take care of her.  She said, " I will take care of you"  Just like she always has...she smiled and stared at me for a long time.  All I do is cry, she told me the dog was making my nose run again.  At least, she doesn't realize that I'm sad.  

The only child! I win!

The Only Child

Parents & pets were my first playmates.

Alone at airports, last goodbyes. Concerns of others nice & comforting, but still alone. 

Trains on the track, can't turn back, when you coming home, sweet mama? 

I got to their house and she was asleep.  She woke up and was not really awake.  She said, "I'm back" several times, like she was waking up from a dream, and I sat on the edge of the bed and said, "I'm back too, Mama, and she looked up and saw me for the first time.  It was the sweetest smile of recognition I've ever had.  It reminded me of one of the kids at night when they wake up from a bad dream, but it was somehow sweeter.  She said, I asked for you, and you came.  She said I was her favorite, I said I win!  With no competition, it was easy! 

Amazing!

I am still beeming that I went out for Roller Derby! 

Now for a hot bath... 

She's a Rollergirl!

Yes, crazy! Me trying out for Roller Derby! Been thinking about it & the opportunity cane up, so I'm gonna check it out! Swim meet today. Talked to mom, she's still hanging in, but very drunk on Morphine. Funny comments: "these 2 gals have me drugged up! Get a triple E breast pad!" Oh my goodness, life is a ride... 

Snow Days

Two snow days this week!  Cleaning house, snuggling, staying warm... Cooking some pork ribs, mom is still playing "Words with Friends". Reading...

New Year, New Projects!

Of course, with the new year, there come resolutions.  Mine is the Happiness Project.  My goal is going to be just a few sentences a day to record what is going on in our lives.  Emma is playing with green goop.  Teddy has already worn his Plex the robot costume.  Avery spent the night with Zoe.  Gus is playing a game with them on the xbox.  We're expecting a storm.  Heard from my mom early,  I hope she is having a good day!